I Want to Buy a Bus

Every person I can recall having a conversation with of any significant length in past few months I have said these words to:

“I want to buy a bus”

I can’t stop thinking about it, so I can’t stop talking about it.

“I want to buy a bus, and I want to convert it into an RV.” I’ve said over and over again.

Someone told me recently that they believe in the power of manifesting, so I should be sure to keep saying it. At the very least talking about it is keeping my dream alive.

When I was a kid, I moved around a lot. I remember having dreams about our apartment getting washed away in a flood and getting stranded on my bed, trying to grab all the things I cared about as I floated downstream. It was mostly my stuffed animals, but they were important to me! I’m sure those dreams were a product of suddenly having to pack up everything and move every few years. I’m sure my parents hated making room for my stuffed animals every time. The stress of wondering if I had everything I needed was overwhelming at times, both awake and asleep. I still carry a lot of those anxieties with me. Maybe this time I can make room for everything I need and leave the anxieties behind.

At the moment though, I haven’t the means to buy a bus, which is really a bummer. I really want to buy a bus.

I’ve been laying out the plans for my bus. This bus would be custom built to address all my anxieties. I will never again be at the mercy of my poorly wired executive function when packing for a trip, struggling to decide what I should bring and what I should leave behind; I can just bring all of it with me! I’ll have a comfortable bed, a desk that doubles as a computer workspace and an art workspace, a custom kitchen, and a full bathroom. I would be fulfilling that American dream instilled in me since childhood of finally owning my own home (despite not growing up in the states). I wouldn’t have to worry about a mortgage, because the whole project should only cost around $20,000-$30,000. And I can do it in stages, buying the bus first and doing some basic conversions then slowly upgrading it as I save up more money. I could travel anywhere in the country and bring my dog with me. I’ll not have to worry about leaving her at home with a sitter. We could explore exciting new landscapes together, returning to the bus to work from home.

It will likely not surprise you, dear reader, to learn that I also have a bit of a prepper streak in me, which has only been exacerbated by recent political events. Last Friday I had two back-to-back dreams about the end of the world, in the first it was global thermonuclear war and then in the second the sky ripped open in an awesome apocalyptic fashion. And in the waking world it hasn’t been much better. Checking the news every morning has felt like watching the apocalypse, only that this real apocalypse is a bit slower and slightly less dramatic.

Having all my worldly concerns loaded up and neatly packaged ready to move at a moment’s notice has never been more appealing to me. My bus will also be a solarpunk off-grid experiment. I can do a biodiesel conversion and fit the top of the bus with solar panels. When the last upgrades are done, it will have 3 sets of solar panels that can be extended to either side like wings while the bus is parked to power a computer, fridge, and any other electrical needs. At the back of the bus, I plan to have a ladder to access a small (approx. 0.001 acre) rooftop garden. It will have a clear plastic shell that will protect it from the wind while driving and double as a greenhouse. Fine netting and extreme caution will be used to prevent the spread of invasive species.

In the layout I put together, I was sure to include plenty of space for art materials. There will be plenty of room to house paints, paper, screen printing equipment, a sewing machine, and maybe even a 3D printer. I imagine pulling up to flea markets and campsites across the country and popping open my doors to sell various wares that I’ve created or collected—a modern solarpunk traveling merchant. I even plan to put windows in the kitchen that can double as pass-throughs to serve food out of (although I don’t imagine ever being able to get it licensed as a food truck).

I really hope that this dream will become reality soon. When standing still it’s as though the bottoms of my feet begin to itch. I worry that tar might seep up from the ground beneath me as I become stuck in one place. I am not made for such a stationary life. I want to stay in one place until, on some morning, I look out at some portion of the horizon and say “come to me.” And in this journey of ever pulling the horizon closer, I think I will finally find rest.

If you have any interest in helping me reach this dream, consider hiring me for website design or graphic design work.

Or you could buy me a coffee.